Today I am doing a little bit of contemplating. I've been really torn on a certain matter lately. You see, I have this beautiful, most perfect baby in the world. And this sweet baby loves my attention. She loves to be held and doted on. Especially at nap time. Whenever it's time for sleep - she insists on being held. She rarely falls asleep on her own. I love my baby and I wanted nothing more than to bring her into this world. But I also have to work full time during the day. But this job is a blessing because I get to work from home and also take care of my sweet angel. Enter pressing issue. What would I like to do all day? Hold my baby. Rock her to sleep, soothe her when she cries, nurse her when she pleases and play with her all day. But I am not only am I a full-time Mom, I am also a full-time employee and I have to work so that we can pay bills. So, knowing that I have a work "to-do" list, I find myself hoping that my baby will sleep and I can accomplish something .. anything. I don't have a bad baby. She plays a lot on her own, she smiles, she giggles, she enjoys life. But when she gets tired, there's usually a long routine involved with putting her down. When I am trying to put her down and hoping that she will sleep - in the back of my mind I am asking myself what kind of mother I am. I can't help but think of the many people who can't have children, or who have lost children. I know that they would give anything just to hold their baby, and they want nothing more than to hold their baby all day long. Does it make me a bad mother that I want her to sleep? Not only sleep but self-soothe? I want her to fall asleep on her own. I need to have time to work, shower, clean the house etc. I feel too many time a baby is rated on how little they inconvenience their parents. I don't mind holding her and coddling her. I want to give her everything she needs. And I know she has needs that are different than mine. That doesn't make her a bad baby. I am torn because I want to give her those things but I can't. Help me out other Mommy's.
Oh how this made me smile! Every mom has these same worries and struggles- not just with baby number one, but with each one that follows. Motherhood is incredible for so many reasons, and one of them is learning to balance and juggle and multi task. When you have one baby it's so hard to let them fuss and cry, but when you have more kids you have to let them fuss and cry sometimes and I promise it does not make you a bad mom to wish her to sleep so you can accomplish things. If Nora has been fed and changed and I know with out a doubt gets lots of hugs and cuddles, it's ok to let her fuss. It's not easy to hear her do it, but she can't learn to soothe herself unless she has the opportunities to learn to do it. When you have more kids it's a little easier to let them fuss because you have to, there is another body there that also needs help and attention- so you learn to juggle. In order to have a toddler who can play and entertain themself they have to learn, and with an infant it's not much different. As much as I love a newborn little cry- it makes me sad to hear them cry too long, so I would say my babies were held more then other babies. But there comes a time where they just have to fuss. I remember needing a shower and deciding to put Lexi in her crib, she was around 6 months old and let her fuss for the 7 minutes it would take. She SCREAMED- like really SCREAMED the whole time. I was so fast, I think like 3 minutes, then dressed and picked her up. My neighbor knocked at the door and asked if all was ok. I about died! We were in an apartment and she could hear her crying through the wall. I felt like the worst mom ever!! I swore I would never do that again, but a few days later I had to- and Lexi didn't scream as much. Little by little she learned to soothe herself. Trust your instincts- you know when Nora is just mad or if she really needs you. Some mom's let their babies cry it out in their crib really young, I start around 4 months and I cry along with the baby. It's so hard for me to do it, but once the adjust to going to sleep on their own it's amazing!!:) But no mom can tell you what and when your baby needs- you will know. But know it is ok and does not make you a bad mom to want these things for your baby. I completely and 100% agree that you can never hold a baby too much, but there are things we can do that are good for the baby and us. SOmethings are painful, like putting them on their tummy for tummy time if they hate their tummy, they scream and hate it, but it's only for a few minutes and after you do it over and over they learn to enjoy it, and it helps them not only helps them strengthen their neck muscles it little footsteps in the direction of rolling over, then scooting, then crawling. It's all baby steps:)
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