She is at such a fun age. She recognizes us and is excited to see us. She lights up at our faces. She loves to stare at the Christmas tree - The lights are so intriguing to her. She also watches The Color Crew on TV and seems to actually enjoy it! Is this even possible for a not-even 3 month old?
Being a mother is more than anything I could have asked for. I love every minute of it. I've read too many stories and heard too many personal experiences of friends and family who have tragically lost little ones. It breaks my heart time and time again and I can't imagine my life without my sweet baby. But I feel like it's helped me to try and cherish every moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Every day is bitter-sweet. I miss her yesterday and look forward to her tomorrow.
I'm definitely not saying that there haven't been hard times. Knowing me, you must know that there have been many tears shed, although plenty of them have been out of love. But there have definitely been nights when I considered picking up the knife off the kitchen counter and putting myself out of misery. There is something about not sleeping at all for nights and days in a row that makes you have irrational thoughts. Thoughts that I am not proud of. But those rough nights are so few compared to the wonderful sleep filled nights that we have been blessed with. There were 2 weeks where Nora refused to breastfeed. She woulde scream and push herself away from me. This was a really hard time for me because I was not ready to give up nursing. But I dreaded every feeding because I knew she wouldn't latch. It would sound like I was torturing her as I tried to force her to eat. I would try and try and in turn cry and cry. I sought after help from a lactation specialist but of course when I went in for my appointment - she ate completely fine. No fuss at all. Then I felt embarrassed. But after days of persistence and heaps of support from my husband we finally got back on track with nursing. I am so thankful for that. Nursing has been so important to me since before I had Nora.
I hear people say that having children puts a strain on your relationship, but in my case this isn't true. Bringing Nora into our lives has only enhanced our relationship. It's brought us so close. Before Nora was born I was afraid that Stefan would come home to a crying, inconsolable baby and a mother in tears and he would be too easily frustrated and never want to come home. But he has actually been my biggest support. He jumps at the opportunity to come home, change Nora's diaper, kiss and snuggle her (and me). He genuinely cares about my day and how Nora has behaved. And on multiple occasions he has arranged for me to have some alone time, or sleep time. I've never seen someone adore a baby as much as he adores Nora. He's such a fantastic father and husband and I couldn't be more happy and lucky. I am so thankful that the Lord sent me the only man that could handle me and treats me so perfectly. I honestly love our life and our family and can't wait for the many years to come!
