4 Month Old Schedule

Not that anybody cares, but this is basically my journal so I need to do my documenting.
Nora is 4 months now and I love every minute I spend with her.  She is so energetic, smart, smiley, advanced, adaptive, forgiving, sweet, cute and lovable! What a doll she has turned into and what a strong personality she harbors! I adore her and I couldn't be more happy with my life as a mother.  I love my little family!

I feel like we are finally into the swing of things.  I've said it before, I know, but now it's more true than ever.  We are on great schedules and enjoying more time with Nora because of her ability to self-soothe.  Since my last post we have implemented the Ferber Method.  I had a legitimate moral dilemma with the so-called "Cry-It-Out" method.  I hate not being there immediately to calm her fears and quiet her tears.  But I know that there are things she needs to learn as a baby that will carry into her toddler years and make life more enjoyable .. especially when a little brother or sister come along.  We started on Friday night with teaching her to self-soothe.  Stefan and I talked it out thoroughly before we did anything.  We decided on a strict bedtime routine so that Nora will become comfortable with bedtime.  We talked about the pros and cons of teaching her to self-soothe and we decided it was something we wanted to teach her even though it may be painful and rough.  We love her so much and we really needed her to be able to calm herself down.  It was becoming quite a routine every time she needed to go down for a nap or bedtime.  We decided that we would comfort her after 2 minutes, then 4, then 6 and so on and so forth.  The first night was hard - I was in tears and doubting myself as a mother.  She finally fell asleep after the 10 minute stretch.  10 minutes doesn't seem like much - but when there is a baby crying for help involved it seems like an eternity.  But she slept through the night and woke up just as happy as could be.  The next day her naps were wonderful and she went down easier as well.  The second night we only had to reassure her 3 times before she calmed down and fell asleep and the next 2 nights required no trips in to comfort her before she fell asleep.  I couldn't be more happy with the results.  Especially since the literature suggests that it can take up to 14 days for babies to successfully self-soothe.  14 days might have murdered me.  I feel so much more comfortable in my routine now.  I don't dread nap time or bedtime.  It's been liberating.

At 4 months - we have a very effective schedule.

9:00 AM - Wake up - Nurse Nora and snuggle
9:30 AM - Play time! - This includes tummy time, saucer time, swing time, toy time, giggle time, etc.
10:00 AM - Cereal - Nora eats 1 Tbs. of rice cereal or oatmeal mixed with a couple teaspoons of baby food.  So far she has enjoyed Banana's, Peaches, Sweet Potatoes, and Peas! - This kid loves to eat (:
10:30 AM - Nap Time
12:00 PM - Nurse and more cereal
12:30 PM - Playtime - A couple times a week this is when we have bath time.  This is Nora's FAVORITE kind of playtime.  She is always the happiest when she is naked in the tub.
1:00 PM - Snuggle time.  One-on-one time.  I talk to Nora, read to her, hold her and rock her.
1:30 PM - Nap Time
3:00 PM - Nurse
3:30 PM - Playtime
4:00 PM - Nap Time
6:00 PM - Nurse and Cereal
6:30 PM - Playtime - We like to add some "Baby First TV" Shows.  She especially loves the Color Crew
7:30 PM - Nap Time
9:00 PM - Nurse
9:30 PM - Playtime
10:30 PM - Cereal and Nurse
11:00 PM - Bedtime Routine : Change her diaper and put on her jammies.  Swaddle her and sing her a lullaby.
11:15 PM - Lay her down

And she sleeps ALL night long!  I am so blessed and I love the support I get from my sweet hubby!  We love our baby girl and have loved learning how to be parents together!

Help .. Motherhood Worries

Today I am doing a little bit of contemplating.  I've been really torn on a certain matter lately.  You see, I have this beautiful, most perfect baby in the world.  And this sweet baby loves my attention.  She loves to be held and doted on.  Especially at nap time.  Whenever it's time for sleep - she insists on being held.  She rarely falls asleep on her own.  I love my baby and I wanted nothing more than to bring her into this world.  But I also have to work full time during the day. But this job is a blessing because I get to work from home and also take care of my sweet angel.  Enter pressing issue.  What would I like to do all day?  Hold my baby.  Rock her to sleep, soothe her when she cries, nurse her when she pleases and play with her all day.  But I am not only am I a full-time Mom, I am also a full-time employee and I have to work so that we can pay bills.  So, knowing that I have a work "to-do" list, I find myself hoping that my baby will sleep and I can accomplish something .. anything.  I don't have a bad baby.  She plays a lot on her own, she smiles, she giggles, she enjoys life.  But when she gets tired, there's usually a long routine involved with putting her down.  When I am trying to put her down and hoping that she will sleep - in the back of my mind I am asking myself what kind of mother I am.  I can't help but think of the many people who can't have children, or who have lost children.  I know that they would give anything just to hold their baby, and they want nothing more than to hold their baby all day long.  Does it make me a bad mother that I want her to sleep?  Not only sleep but self-soothe?  I want her to fall asleep on her own.  I need to have time to work, shower, clean the house etc.  I feel too many time a baby is rated on how little they inconvenience their parents.  I don't mind holding her and coddling her.  I want to give her everything she needs. And I know she has needs that are different than mine.  That doesn't make her a bad baby.  I am torn because I want to give her those things but I can't.  Help me out other Mommy's.