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Thursday, July 18, 2013

10 Month Update .. and my Babywise Testimony

I'm literally appalled that I haven't blogged in this long.  But as my wise Friend Anais Moody once told me ... oh crap, I can't remember exactly what she said.  Something to the effect that we can't put it off just because we've missed so much.  We just gotta pick it up again from this point on!  So here goes.

First of all, I cannot believe that my baby is 10 months old!  They weren't lying when they told me that it would go by fast .. too fast! It seems like just yesterday I held her in my arms for the first time.  So small, so precious, and so perfect.  A piece of my heart misses her as a newborn.  But the rest of my heart adores the pre-toddler she has become.  I love watching her explore new things and learn (which she does very quickly).  At just 9 months old she knew how to suck from a straw ... the grown-up kind of straw that Mom drinks her Pepsi from.  She continues to impress me as she learns knew things and catches on to the world, and people around her.  As she tries to mimic expressions and sounds she hears.  As she tries to figure out how to accomplish certain tasks.  She is so smart.

Nora has been the easiest, well-natured baby.  I am complimented all the time on how "easy" she is.  But I like to think that I played some part in it.  You see, this is the kind of thing that Babywise warned me about. Babywise said that people would comment that I'm lucky because of how "content" my baby is or "how good of a sleeper" she is, when the truth is that luck doesn't have anything to do with it.  I credit my successes to Babywise and the teachings it provides.

Babywise taught me that the greatest gift you can give your child and the most crucial to their development and successes is love in your home.  Stefan and I have been so blessed to have such a wonderful relationship where there is no fighting or arguing.  We always communicate calmly and effectively and thus we are always able to show love for each other with or without Nora present.  Stefan is a wonderful husband - I'd even venture to say perfect.  He cares so much about my feelings and my happiness.  He is completely selfless.  He makes having love in our home the only option.  It's impossible not to love him.  And he loves Nora deeply.  It's a beautiful thing, to watch a Father-Daughter relationship unfold and I love the way he treats our Baby girl - like a princess Scratch that, I am his princess. She'll have to be some other form or royalty (:  Thanks to this very important guideline, our Baby has stability in knowing that their is happiness and Love all around her and she can grow and develop comfortably.  It may seem simple, or too good to be true, but I believe that it plays a large role in how our children develop and behave.

Now, this isn't the only thing that Babywise taught me and it certainly doesn't make babies sleep through the night.  But it is the basis of a well behaved baby who will then turn into a well behaved toddler and so on and so forth.  People always say I am so lucky to have a baby who sleeps 12-13 hours at night.  But little do they know that I had my fair share of suffering to "train" her. It seems harsh and it's actually a very controversial topic in the Mommy world. But after you haven't slept a whole night for months straight, then we'll talk about how harsh sleep training is.  Nora was a great sleeper from the start.  She started sleeping through the night on her own at only 2 months old. But once 4 months hit, she decided she wanted to be up every 2 hours again in the night.  This literally shocked me and I didn't know how to handle it.  I was convinced that she was starving so I got up to feed her every 2 hours for weeks (many nights sobbing through feedings from pure exhaustion).  I felt alone and depressed.  Many sources said that babies experience separation anxiety at this age and she needed me physically to hold her and comfort her.  Bologna.  Thanks to Babywise I found the magic.  I quickly realized that I needed to train my poor baby (who was suffering as much as I was from lack of sleep) to sleep through the night.  At her age, she SHOULD have been sleeping almost 12 hours at night.  So I set out on a journey.  It was really rough and nobody wants to hear their baby cry, scream even.  And especially not for extended periods of time.  But I knew that it needed to be done for our sanity.  I never let her cry for more than 45 minutes, but I also never needed to.  The first night was the hardest and when she woke up in the middle of the night that first time, I took the baby monitor into the living room and turned it down so it wouldn't wake Stefan but loud enough that I could hear, and I laid on the couch and listened to her cry until she fell asleep (and I cried right along with her).  I think she still woke up every 2 hours that night, but each time she cried for less and less.  It took less than a week and she was sleeping through the night without waking up at all.  It was a miracle!  I had a wonderfully sleeping baby, and what's better is her naps were improving because of it.  All in all, she was a happier and better mannered baby.  Sleep is so important for babies and a schedule is even more important. They need stability.  Nora is proof of that.

I now am a mother to a 10 month old who is turning into such a well-behaved pre-toddler.  I have read the first 3 books in the series and will continue to read them all. So far they have helped me "understand and teach" Nora.  Their techniques and suggestions work and their theories make complete sense.  At this age, when Nora starts to grab at something that she shouldn't I sternly tell her "No" and she looks at me and she KNOWS what I am telling her.  And 9 times out of 10, she will crawl away from whatever it is.  She smiles when I acknowledge that she has made the right choice.  This way she "likes" to choose the right ... corny I know.  But I love parenting.  I used to be so afraid of being a parent.  I thought I was guaranteed to screw it up and I felt like I needed years of reading and note taking for how to handle every possible scenario. But so far it has come at me slowly and I have had the time and good resources to prepare.  I know there will be times when I feel completely unprepared and caught off guard, but that's why I rely on my relationship with my Father in Heaven and the Holy Ghost.  I'm not saying I am a pro by ANY means, but I love what it has taught me and better yet, the absolutely enjoyable experiences I have had.

There's nothing better sound in this world than your baby's laughter.  And there is no better feeling than to have her wrap her arms around you and hug you.  And these are things that I get to enjoy every day.  It seems like these days everyone has something negative to say about being a Mom.  People used to always tell me to not wish my due date would come faster because it's so much easier to care for the baby when they are inside of you.  I can't believe the perspective that people have of being a Mother these days.  It's completely selfish.  It seems to be a trend these days among relationships - if they aren't revolving around your needs and satisfying your needs then they are not enjoyable.  I find nothing but joy in being a Mom and I it's absolutely satisfying.  It gives me more purpose than I ever knew before and it has defined me as a person.  It doesn't mean that I don't care about myself, or I have no time for myself, because that is something that is very important to make time for as a mother, it just means that I find joy in serving my little tyke! My life wouldn't be the same without my little Nora ..... and I can't even believe that I am saying this but I am really looking forward to another baby.

Sorry about the NOVEL - but this is basically my journal.  Not necessarily for anyone to read but for me to express my thoughts and emotions without getting a hand cramp!