Fun in the Sun

We were able to take a quick trip home to the lovely Californ-i-a.  It's always such a rewarding trip when we go home.  It's terrible that my parent's live 10 hours away by car and usually $200-$400 away by plane.  But it's well worth the time and money to visit them.  Stefan will be leaving for Field Training for the Air Force ROTC soon and he will be gone a stinkin' month with no contact. I am freaking out terrified.  Kelly Clarkson may be Ms. Independent, but that's just not me.  I need my husband every hour of every day.  It's already hard enough for me when we are separated at work each day with little contact due to our busy schedules.  How on earth am I going to survive this one folks? Riddle me this...  Well we wanted to be able to spend some time with mi familia before Hubby Dear leaves in a month so we packed up and left on a Jet(Blue) Plane to the good ole' SoCal.  As soon as we got off the plane, my sweet Mom and Dad greeted us with a warm welcome and news that my little (and only) brother Chrissy had received his mission call in the mail! How the heck is he already 19?  I don't even know.  And now he is going on a mission to Florianopolis Brazil? Wow.  That was an exciting moment and I am glad he waited to open the letter until we got back from the airport.  We are also stoked that Uncle Chris will be able to meet Baby Nora before he leaves.  This is a blessing.

We got to spend a lot of quality time, not only with each other, but with my family which is always needed.  I miss them so much when we are away.  It's hard that Stefan's parents are so close and we get to see them every Sunday, but seeing my parent's is a lot more of a rarity.  But it makes our reunions that much sweeter! 

Mom has already begun spoiling Nora.  She bought her all these cute outfits!  At first, I was sad to see 9M and 12M outfits.They were so big! I want my baby to stay small forever! But I am thankful for my wise mother who understands that most people are going to shower me with Newborn Size clothes that will only fit her for a limited amount of time.  Feel free to shed a tear.  Thanks Mom! For all your generosity and love toward Stefan, Nora and Myself.

Dad is so excited to be a Grandpa.  He kept (what he considers) tapping my stomach and shouting to Baby Nora.  He loves little girls and can't wait to spoil her.  It was a little hard to handle all the belly bumping, but I'm sure Nora knows, very well, who her Grandpa is and what his voice sounds like.  She has been fore-warned.

The twins turned 7 recently (Wow!) and wanted to hold off their Birthday Party until Stefan and I were there.  It was fun to celebrate with them.  They had a pink party at the park with a jumpy house and many activities.  Sydney had 5 friends from her class at the Deaf School.  And Brooke had 4 or 5 from her class.  It was fun to interact with the Deaf Mom's.  Deaf people are so sweet and helpful.  They were the parent's who stayed after to help us clean up.  I am also so impressed with my amazing Mother and her ability to sign.  She has learned so much this year and her dedication to Sydney and her mode of communication has increased tremendously.  She is an inspiration to me of a Mother who would do anything for her child.  Sydney is so blessed to have a mom who seeks out the absolute best care and practices for her.  The twins are getting so old and they are excited to be Aunts, yet I think they are still slightly confused by the meaning of the word.  Needless to say, they already love Nora (or Dora Nora as Sydney would say because she has to remind herself of the name by remembering that it sounds like Dora) and they are going to be wonderful Aunties!

 The Twins had their Piano and Voice recital.  I am so proud of them! Sydney plays all by ear which is amazing considering she is Hard of Hearing.  Brooke sang a solo "You'll Be in My Heart" and it brought tears to my eyes.  She has such a pretty voice and she is a very talented little girl.

 Sydney loves to draw pictures for everybody.  We got Thursday morning all to ourselves.  We colored, played outside in our swimming suits and enjoyed one another's company. I love that girl.

Nora has been kicking and moving so much more! I love it. Absolutely love it.  She was especially active on the plane ride.  She was doing all sorts of flips and turns on the landing into California.  I feel like I can start to gain a sense of her personality through feeling her move, is that crazy? She weighs about 1 pound now and is approximately 11 inches long.  I'm surprised to find out that people at work still don't know I am pregnant.  They must think I have gained a new-found relationship with Twinkies and the TV because the 12 pounds I've gained certainly aren't keeping any secrets.  We got out first large baby item while in California .. Nora's Stroller! It was another gift from Grandma Michelle.  Thanks again Mom! It was fun to bring home and wheel through the airport .. We had many awkward stares at our baby-less stroller.  Plus a few comments about how we were missing a baby.  We're excited to start collecting the baby necessities and I am beginning to feel overwhelmed that I haven't started sooner.  In the beginning, it seems premature to buy anything for the baby.  Now, I feel like there won't be enough time and money to get it all before she makes her debut.  I'm sure all will be fine, it's just the unnecessary Mommy Worries.  Soon, I will post the last 3 weeks of chalkboard pictures that I have failed to upload. Procrastination to a T, let me tell ya.

The cutest Daddy on the Block!

Mother's Day

As Mother's day rolled around, I had very mixed emotions.  I must admit, that my Husband spoiled me and I am not even sure if I quite deserved it... I felt like an illegitimate Mother at church as all the primary children got up and sang to their Mums.  But at the same time, I try to tell myself that I am a Mother and I am doing one of the most amazing things for my child right now.  I am growing her.  That sounds so eerie, like she's a plant.  If she was, she would undoubtedly be the prettiest flower in the garden. But she's not a flower, she's my daughter and I can't believe that every single day for the last 20 weeks, I've carried her with me.  I share every moment of my life with her right now.  I'm giving her life.  Doesn't that make me a Mom?  I didn't want to take one of the gorgeous flowers that they provided for all the Mothers of the Ward.  Even though we are in the sweetest ward and everybody insisted that I should, I still felt like a fake.  A Mock Mother.

My inhibitions also included my fears of Motherhood.  Don't get me wrong, I am more excited than I've ever been in my life, but that doesn't cancel out all of my worries and stresses.  I have always been a perfectionist.  I don't say that to brag, or make you think that I am perfect, because Heaven knows I am nowhere near perfect. And that's why I consider this "condition" as something I suffer from.  I want to be perfect in every aspect, yet I never seem to measure up to all the goals or aspiration I have for myself.  I always wanted to be the best dancer, yet never seemed to achieve that title.  I always worked my hiney off in school, and was very hard on myself when I didn't get straight A's.  In my marriage, I always seem to find the areas where I am falling short.  I can never do it all.  Especially while being pregnant.  I can never seem to get all the cleaning done that needs to be done for the day.  I have been a slacker when it comes to cooking dinner for my husband since I've been pregnant.  There's not enough money to finish all the projects I would like to finish, nor to buy all the decoration I would love to adorn my home with.  I don't read my scriptures every night like I know I should.  And instead of waking up early to say morning prayer with my husband, I usually hit snooze until I have only the exact amount of time it takes to get ready, thus leaving me prayer-less, breakfast-less and lunch-less.  All these shortcomings worry me as I realize that my load will become a lot more full in 20 short weeks.  If I can't balance all of my duties now, how on earth will I ever be able to juggle all the duties of a Mother, Wife, Homemaker, Visiting Teacher, Employee, Friend, etc.  I worry that I am lazy and that I will be too lazy to be the perfect Mom.  All I want to do is be the best Mom in the world, but is that desire enough to finish all the loads of laundry, scrub the toilets, make lunches for my family, and pay the bills?  Is that desire going to drive me to be the best?  Will I be able to look at myself at the end of the day and ever be pleased with my accomplishments?  How will I have the patience to calm a screaming child, fix a bottle, kiss my husband and not feel like I am at my witt's end?  Will my husband be able to say that I am the best mother?  Will he approve of all I do, or fail to do, in a day?  How will his frustrations at the end of a long school day not be aggravated when he comes home to find that I failed to clean the house and get dinner ready?  Will he still support me when I can hardly support myself? All of these things worry me when I consider my desire to be the best Mom that I can be.  How has anybody ever survived?  Will I survive?

I know the Lord is my source of hope in this.  I know that I am following one of the greatest commandments and that he will in turn bless me.  I know that he can make my weaknesses become strengths.  I sincerely pray in my heart, that I will better be able to make time for him, because I know, without a doubt, he is the only way for me to accomplish the things which he has commanded me.  I know there is no such thing as the "perfect mom" and my goal is not to be glorified as a mother through social networking.  I don't wish to blog about my "perfect" life and boast about my successes as a mother.  But I do hope to be able to do the things that I enjoy within my home, and family for my own sanity and happiness.  I am thankful for this gospel because I know that without it, I would be lost in these very depressing worries.  The Lord does love me and he does answer my prayers.  He will help me.  I just need to put my faith in him, count my blessings, and push forward.

This Mother's day, I am thankful for a supportive and loving husband who sees the Mother of his Children when he looks at me.  Who understands that under all this self-doubt, I just wanted to be recognized as a Mother.  A husband who understands the trials of pregnancy and how they will lead to a worthy Motherhood.  Who saw the need to recognize me and treat me like any other Mom this day.  I enjoyed a sweet scavenger hunt, well thought out by this sweet Mr. Somebody... The clues written on pink paper and burned on the edges for authenticity.  Clever clues upon each one, leading me closer and closer to the final prize.  With some help from him, because I have pregnancy brain and couldn't quite figure them all out (that's my story and I am sticking to it), I finally found the prize.  It was a gift certificate to the Season's Salon & Day Spa.  Stefan knows that this pregnancy has taken a toll on my body and I've had aches and pains in places I never knew existed. He heard me mention, probably once, that I would enjoy a nice massage.  And although he knows I love his massages, he decided to treat me to a real day-spa experience.  He also noted that the Spa has tanning, hair and nail, and tons of other treatments and services.  This is a place I could go to relax, rejuvenate, and feel beautiful.  He is so thoughtful.  I am so blessed to grow old with this perfect person.  Who, I might add, gets swamped each spring with my birthday, our anniversary, and Mother's day all within 3 weeks.  He's great at making me feel special and telling me he loves me more times throughout the day than I can even count.

Thank you Stefan, I love you more than words can say.
Thank you Nora, for making a Mother out of me.

  

18 weeks! Baby Ericksen is a ...

 

How far along? 18 Weeks 

Baby's Est. Size: The length of a bell pepper! 

Total weight gain: 8 lbs. 

Maternity clothes? My husband spoiled me with new maternity clothes for my birthday.  I have about 6 or 7 new shirts from Motherhood, a pair of Heidi Klum skinny maternity jeans, and some capris with the secret fit belly .. which, I might add, is the most comfortable style of maternity pant ever.  I am in love. 

Sleep: I've been pretty tired so sleeping has been better. 

Best moment this week: Finding out we are having a baby girl! We couldn't be more excited!

Miss Anything? My old clothes. 

Movement: A few flutters here and there! 

Food cravings: Sprite. Duh.

Food Aversions: Still peanut butter, broccoli, yogurt. 

Gender: She's a girl! 
Showing: I tend to think so! 

Symptoms: I've been feeling a lot better recently. 

Belly Button in or out? In.  I think it's getting a little more shallow, but Hubby thinks I'm crazy.

Wedding rings on or off? On. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: So happy!

Looking forward to: Our 1st Anniversary!

17 weeks!

How far along? 17 Weeks

Baby's Est. Size: The size of an onion!

Total weight gain: 8 lbs.

Maternity clothes? Just the belly band and a new maternity tank from Target.

Sleep: It's on and off comfortable.  Trying to find new sleeping positions.

Best moment this week: Setting up our appointment for the Gender Reveal!

Miss Anything? Being able to work out. 

Movement: While laying on my belly on the bed, I could feel kicks! Very faint, but kicks nonetheless!

Food cravings: Candies to suck on.  I love Werther's, Butterscotch Disks, Jolly Rancher's, those Root Beer Candies.  You  name it.

Food Aversions: Still peanut butter, broccoli, yogurt.

Gender Prediction: So confused. Just want to find out!
Showing: Can still be hidden in some clothes, but I want it to look more like a pregnant belly!

Symptoms: The B.O. has been better under control, thank heavens.  Acne .. not so much.

Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!

Looking forward to: Finding out our little Baby's gender this week! And my birthday!