Itchin' for an Infant

As I mentioned in my last post.. I am baby hungry.

1.	baby hungry
	adj. bay·bee hun·gri An idiom most commonly used in America - used almost exclusively by women, to express an overwhelming desire to have children and become a mother. Although it's not something that all women go through, it is most commonly seen to occur between ages 23 through 35. This is something both single women and women in committed relationships can experience - partially due in part to maternal instinct and the so-called biological clock; social norms/expectations for a majority of women that in that age range; and on occasion also due to religious perspectives on family life. I think they are a little off on the "affected age group". At least in Utah, we see girls of a much younger age group being affected by this so called syndrome. Me, being one of them. This was not my plan. When I got married, I was certain I didn't want children for at least 3 years. But the elements of a married student ward set in and I started to crave. I tried to put on my brave face and pretend that I still didn't want little tykes, but the truth is, I want a little one so bad I can taste it. I know what the responsible thing to do is... wait. And logically, this makes sense to my brain. But my heart has a different opinion. My biological clock is telling me it's time! Stefan and I joke about being pregnant, but I know deep down inside, we both really wish it was the case! Disclaimer: If you are of the Male species, I suggest you stop reading at this point. The contents of this post may be a little too informative. --------------------------------------------- So my period was a couple days late, like 4, this month. So on Friday night, Stefan and I walked across the street to get a pregnancy test. All smiles and giggles, joking about "what if". Really, this was all for fun and I was almost 95% positive I wasn't pregnant. I am on birth-control for pete sakes. But the desire for that little test to be positive doubled, tripled, and probably even quadrupled in those next 20 minutes. We walked back home and I did my duty. A very surreal experience by the way, peeing on that stick. Never thought of the day when I would pee on a stick, and here it was. Magical to say the least. Especially with the bathroom door wide open and Stefan standing there with a grin from ear to ear. We waited the long 3 minutes. And then it was the moment of truth..... Negative P.S. If you are not familiar with pregnancy tests and their results, this means: Hi, you are not cool enough to have a baby growing inside of you. Go cry now. And that's what I did. Not really, I handled it very maturely. But I couldn't help but be sad. I know that children will come in due time, and probably at a better time when we are better prepared for them. I just can't wait. Literally, I want little Stefan's running around the house naked and yelling and throwing food. I want to start our family. But I decided that for now, I am thrilled to have more "us" time with my favorite person in this world, Stefan Paul Ericksen. I love you.